No I don’t spank my child. I’m not saying you’re a dick if you do spank but…you’re a dick. As a child I was spanked or as it’s colloquially called ‘beat’. And yes I am a functional adult and I survived with minimal therapy but that doesn’t mean that how I was parented 30 years ago should still be the standard. 30 years ago people were still using Toaster R Ovens, you’re telling me I’m supposed to use that instead of a microwave.
We all elevate our parents on pedestals that they can’t possibly live up to. We all assume we were parented in the right way because we feel ‘normal’. The fact of the matter is our parents did the best they could with the information they had. There isn’t any shame in that. It’s nothing that we should look back with regret or anything. As a parent that’s really all you can do. This isn’t a judgment on past parenting – this is a judgment on new parents who have new information but refuse to use it.
Two things are facts: Climate Change is real. Spanking doesn’t work. The science is in, deal with it.
This all came from a discussion with a couple of friends over the weekend. They were shocked that I wouldn’t assault my child (It takes a different spin when you phrase it like that huh?). At the end of the day – that’s what it is… Maybe I’m being dramatic, maybe I’m not. If I’m at a point where I have to discipline via physical violence I have already lost. Take it from someone who was beat, often – it didn’t deter me from doing anything wrong. It just made me angry. That anger was just the feeling that was transferred from my parents. They were angry at me, rightfully so but still.
MiMo being 18 months old – she’s not understanding anything that nuanced of that I’m hitting her because she did something wrong and differentiating that she shouldn’t hit her classmates. That’s too much for a 1.5 year old to comprehend and to apply.
I’m not saying I have all the answers. Hell I don’t even know if I have any answers but I am confident in my feelings that hitting my child is something I am not comfortable with. When you discuss no spanking everyone gets the image into their head of the yuppie (read: white) parents in the grocery store with little Johnny screaming and going crazy. There’s a big jump between your child having no discipline and you committing first degree assault on your child.
Please, go ahead spank your kid (actually please don’t), just know if you do, you’re a dick.