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I was playing with my daughter on the floor one night and realized I didn’t have my normal ease of getting off the floor. I attributed to a long day at work being in an awkward position and probably at least 4 other excuses. It kept happening. There have been times where I have been overweight but it has never affected me in a way where its slowed my movements or made an easy task difficult. This time it did. I know a part of this equation is that I’m sitting at 38 which is not 28 as Shaq once eloquently said. Also, a huge factor was that at that time I was 235 lbs which at 5’10 gives me a belly like Buddha. If I’m being moderately active and not being dumb with my diet I can usually rest at 212-215 range. If I’m in running mode I can rest in the low 200s to 195 area. This current incarnation of myself was unacceptable. I can’t have an active daughter and be that father that is telling his kid to slow down because they can’t keep up. How embarrassing is that?

My journey technically began at the new year and while I’ve could consistently be in the gym I haven’t had the weight loss I should because my diet sucks. (ed. note: As of 4/5 that changed, I have started by removing all sugary drinks from my diet) told my trainer that week: “Help me”. I felt like the pitiful little boy lost in a mall looking for his parents. I know that part of my triggers is right after I start really going hard in the gym my appetite goes crazy and I eat anything not nailed down. This depending on what’s in the house could result in a bag of Pop Chips being hoovered in sitting. That is “no Bueno”.

I started doing research on the impact of sugar on our diets. The levels of sugar in our drinks is crazy. As I started doing more research and saw that Fat was pushed as a focus not because of research but because of money that can be made from low fat foods. I recommend reading this article as it started my wheels turning — even though it took 2 months for me to start doing something about it.

I’ve done it before and I know I can do it again but I’m a little older and a little more set in my ways. I think in America we all fight this battle. The problem is everything that isn’t good for you taste delicious. I mean just thinking back to all the pie I’ve consumed in my life. But now I have a belly (my wife says it just a little belly…that’s just love talking) and I need to get rid of it. I’m big on achievement — so I just can’t work out just to workout. I need a goal so before I ran a lot and races were my goal. While I still want to run races I need something else to get me through. I do have to do this 5K in Atlanta again this summer to avenge my horrible showing last year.

2 Things are currently motivating me: My Family and Vanity.

Besides dodging the police department and making sure they don’t kill me with any interaction I must fight hypertension and avoid being a diabetic. I’ve been successful at 2 out of the 3.

Here I am, aspiring to have my Trey Songz body (pause) by the end of June. This means no more fast food (ed. note: No fast food is a moving target but my consumption of fast food has vastly reduced) and ensuring that every meal has a real vegetable (I was told lettuce doesn’t count). Luckily, I have iKia to help me stay on track with her motivational posts. We’ll see how this works out…stay tuned…I’ll either be ready to sing “OOO Na Na” shirtless at your local karaoke bar this summer or I’ll be hating the fact that I can’t find XXXL Bape Tees.


Ed. Note: As of 5/31 – BDotM is down 22 lbs with 25 lbs left to go to reach his goal weight. 

*I’m not a dietician and any claims are anecdotal based on what happened to me. Before you start a diet or any workout routine please consult your physician.

No I don’t spank my child. I’m not saying you’re a dick if you do spank but…you’re a dick. As a child I was spanked or as it’s colloquially called ‘beat’. And yes I am a functional adult and I survived with minimal therapy but that doesn’t mean that how I was parented 30 years ago should still be the standard. 30 years ago people were still using Toaster R Ovens, you’re telling me I’m supposed to use that instead of a microwave.

Nah B.

We all elevate our parents on pedestals that they can’t possibly live up to. We all assume we were parented in the right way because we feel ‘normal’. The fact of the matter is our parents did the best they could with the information they had. There isn’t any shame in that. It’s nothing that we should look back with regret or anything. As a parent that’s really all you can do. This isn’t a judgment on past parenting – this is a judgment on new parents who have new information but refuse to use it.

Two things are facts: Climate Change is real. Spanking doesn’t work. The science is in, deal with it.

This all came from a discussion with a couple of friends over the weekend. They were shocked that I wouldn’t assault my child (It takes a different spin when you phrase it like that huh?).  At the end of the day – that’s what it is… Maybe I’m being dramatic, maybe I’m not. If I’m at a point where I have to discipline via physical violence I have already lost. Take it from someone who was beat, often – it didn’t deter me from doing anything wrong. It just made me angry. That anger was just the feeling that was transferred from my parents. They were angry at me, rightfully so but still.

MiMo being 18 months old – she’s not understanding anything that nuanced of that I’m hitting her because she did something wrong and differentiating that she shouldn’t hit her classmates. That’s too much for a 1.5 year old to comprehend and to apply.

I’m not saying I have all the answers. Hell I don’t even know if I have any answers but I am confident in my feelings that hitting my child is something I am not comfortable with. When you discuss no spanking everyone gets the image into their head of the yuppie (read: white) parents in the grocery store with little Johnny screaming and going crazy. There’s a big jump between your child having no discipline and you committing first degree assault on your child.

Please, go ahead spank your kid (actually please don’t), just know if you do, you’re a dick.

Also enjoy Stacey Patton’s take in the NYT.